Relationships

the stuff dreams are made of....

Suddenly, we awake from our dream somewhere about thirty-five. We expected the perfect dream but forgot how to create the reality of it. Reality hits us smack dab in the face. We are working one or two jobs apiece struggling to make ends meet. The cars and the house are always in need of repairs. The children are spoiled, demanding, and unappreciative. In our attempt to create perfection we have created disaster. We realize that we live our lives as if we were hamster running endlessly on a wire wheel. Always with an approach to a goal but never actually being able to reach the finish line. Our figures are less than optimal. If only we had time to exercise. If only we weren’t under so much stress perhaps that piece of chocolate cake would not have such seductive power over us. If only we had more time we could make health conscious meals instead of dining or ordering out. Oh, if only we were rich we would hire personal chefs, personal trainers, and what the heck personal masseurs, makeup artists..and again the fantasy re-emerges We dream of tomorrow and dread today. We think that someday when we make enough money we will be able to solve all of our problems. Failing to realize that the problems will still persist. We have long ago forgotten who we are or who we were or what we want . The obligations of life have taken over all aspects of our lives. All of this without realizing that we have creative control. That WE create our outcomes THEY don’t. One doesn’t just fall into the perfect life. A perfect life is created. Change the way you feel about yourself and everything else changes with you.

Obviously no one source has all of the answers. But there are some simple guidelines set forth to help one get into alignment with self. Start with an outline of your life. Decide what is working, what is not. Focus on the changes that you would like. Create the scenario, the ideal scenario that you wish for your life. List the areas that need improvement in order of importance. Develop a realistic plan of action. Sounds simple enough. We know what we want we just have to learn how to create it. The key is to take the example from a place of lack and focus it into the place of possible. But what about all of the emotional issues involved?Buried in the depths of our girlhood visions’ obvious failures is a trove of pain, misery, disappointment, hurt, rejection, and anger. This is where the hard work enters. Holding on to negative feelings, old hurts, pain and misery only ensures that we will continue to attract the same. Let it go. Realize that our life is a result of the thoughts that we choose. And many of us have become reactors instead of active creators.

We must come to terms with and acknowledge our girlhood vision and realize that we must first learn to become complete and whole within ourselves before the magic can come. We need to start with self-acceptance, forgiveness of self and nurturing of self. Our ideals need to be our own ideals chosen for their appropriateness in our lives and not based on that which we are told should be our ideals. Development of self is the most important life affirming step we can take. The only constant we have is ourselves. We are the only person with us every second of our lives. Becoming true to ourselves enriches our lives. Being complete and whole within one’s self is the key to happiness. Realize that happiness does truly lie within. It can not be boughten or found. It does not lie out there somewhere waiting. We must place the responsibility for our own happiness on ourselves. How you ask?

Pitfalls. Realize that how we react to another is our choice. We choose to feel rejection. Rejection can only affect us if we allow it to. It serves as a reminder that we are basing our reality on the reality of others rather than on our own reality. If you are expecting something or someone other than your connection to your inner self and All-That-Is to fulfill you, to make you feel "complete" you will undoubtedly face dismay.

Expectations can be dangerous. Expectations can set us up for failure. Expectations pre-write the directions of our lives. Expectations can lead to disappointment. If the expectations rely on the result of the actions of others rather than the wholeness and completeness based in self-sufficiency and inner connectedness. We need to learn to let life unfold while realizing that we have the power to manifest that which we want. If we create predetermined expectations that are based upon what we want from others we are in fact attempting to control others behavior to suit ourselves. One must be in alignment with their inner self, loving and accepting of self, feeling complete, confident and secure withing one’s self to be in the place of receiving joy. Trust the universe to provide what you need and want. All you have to do is ask and then allow the Universe to provide it for you.

By harboring our hurt, pain, and misery we create anger. We feel anger over all that makes us unhappy without realizing that we have created our own unhappiness by allowing our actions and feelings to run amok and unchecked. We choose to be angry. We choose to feel rejected. We choose to feel disappointment. Anger festers within us. Anger affects us. It does not affect the target of our anger. When we feel anger we need to determine why we feel that way. Have we been treated unjustly? Do we feel powerless or vulnerable? Realize that those feelings are a result of letting others choose for you. By reacting in a negative way we are giving our power away. We are allowing others to create our reality for us. We get to choose the thoughts. We get to choose our reactions. We get to choose. We can also choose to be happy.

It is high time that we learn to forgive ourselves by accepting that which we are without expectation without condemnation. We need to realize that through our shortcomings and perceived failures we have learned and we have grown. We are the person we are today because of all that we have learned. Our lives are ever changing. Constantly unfolding. We need to use the knowledge that we have gained. We need to realize that in loving one’s self fully and connecting to our inner being which is a part of All-That-Is, the God source, that we are indeed complete and whole and perfect just as we are. We get to choose. We get to decide how we want to feel, act, be, and do. The world is our playground. We are only limited by our perceptions.

It is time to nurture the imperfect individuals that each of us are. To celebrate ourselves both good and perceived bad. To accept ourselves, to nurture ourselves, our daughters, our sisters, our friends, and our mothers. To practice universal love, unconditional love. Love is something that comes forth from within. For when a being is in full connectedness to one’s source, one is filled to the brim with pure positive energy and love. From this place of being full and complete one is able to fully and unconditionally love from appreciation. There is freedom in loving from appreciation. When one feels incomplete inside the resulting action is to love from a place of lack. Expecting that "something or someone" can fill the void. That is an impossible task. You are the only one that can fill that void. The void is filled by being all that you can be through connectedness to inner self and source. For when you are complete and whole within yourself you are fully able to love others. Realize that no one can create in your reality. Your reality is based on your own perceptions. Love your self fully as you are without looking for validation. Accept that you are the writer of the script of your life not just a player in the big scheme of things with no creative control. Your life just a reaction to that which you see and feel from others. When one lives by the reality of others one feels powerless and vulnerable.

Live out all of your dreams. You have the power. Create the fairytale. Ask and allow.